Tuesday, July 20, 2010

First post for a 'Teaser Tuesday'

I've found a lot of fun things and people on Twitter. One of those I've been following, but have yet to participate in is the #TeaserTuesday.

So, for today's post, I thought I'd post a teaser for my work in progress (WIP) The Prodigal's Foole. It's an urban fantasy novel.

Enjoy!

Teaser: The Prodigal's Foole

Entering Charles’ study I came to a complete stop. Peter was there, standing speechless and I could immediately see why. The room had been torn apart. Not a single piece of furniture was left intact. Inscribed in what looked like blood on the walls, ceiling and floor were symbols that were unintelligible to me. But instinct told me that whatever had taunted us in the church probably had written the cryptic letters and symbols. There were a lot of them. And a lot of blood (if that’s indeed what it was) had been used.

Quietly, Peter said, “What, in all that is holy does it mean?”

I looked again at all the foul writing and said just as quietly, “Well I’m no expert, Peter. But I’m guessing it means Charles has been taken. The Monsignor’s gone.”

4 comments:

DragonLady said...

Well, you certainly got my attention. I'm immediately asking myself - horror, supernatural, crime, mystery? Who, what, why? All excellent questions for the reader to ask.

Heather said...

Oh, nice! I like a little mysterious beginning to whet the appetite. Your sentences could use a little cleaning up, though, it seems a bit choppy. Try to avoid conjunctions at the beginning of sentence and that should help to smooth it out.

koreenclemens.com said...

Hi R.B.
Nice to meet you. I found your blog through Twitter (retweet). I've never done the Teaser Tuesday either, but I thought I'd check your piece out.

Obviously I don't know a whole lot about your story, but if I picked it up off the shelf, there would be enough here to keep me reading. I'd like to find out who Charles is and why he's been taken and why the symbols.

Great teaser :-)
Koreen

madisonwoods said...

I like the intrigue - lots of mystery in the first paragraph already.

The only real thing to note that stood out to me was when the mc told us he spoke just as quietly - instead, I would let the reader have enough clues from the scene to know he were speaking in hushed tones, which I think you did.

Thanks for participating in #teasertuesday and I hope to see you again next week!

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