Saturday, May 29, 2010

Brief update and 'Chez White Kitty'

Been doing two diverse writing activities this weekend so far.

Continuing with book two, and incorporating Emmett Spain's comments into book one.

One of the comments he made struck's the 'hook' for the first chapter of 'The Prodigal's Foole.'

The first paragraph...the first SENTENCE is what will draw the reader in. My hook is ok, not great.

Let me give you examples of a few great 'hooks:'

1. Call me Ishmael. - Herman Melville, Moby-Dick (1851)

2. It was a bright cold day in April, and the clocks were striking thirteen. - George Orwell, 1984 (1949)

3. A screaming comes across the sky. - Thomas Pynchon, Gravity's Rainbow (1973)

4. It was a pleasure to burn. - Ray Bradbury, Fahrenheit 451 (1953)

5. Mr. and Mrs. Dursley ,of number four, Privet Drive, were proud to say they were perfectly normal, thank you very much. -J.K Rowling, The Sorcerer's (Philosopher's) Stone (1997)

By contrast, my hook starts: "I stepped off the plane at Logan airport in Boston and could immediately feel the damp, chilly air that was typical of early spring in New England. "

It's ok, but what about: "Little did I know that the telegram in my pocket was about to change my life forever..."

What do you guys think?

In the meantime, the 'Cat Condo' we ordered for our newest family member--White Kitty--arrived yesterday. I took a few minutes to put it together. By popular request, here are a few photos:


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